menopause

‘my’ menopause freak out

I found out my sister is going through Menopause! She is not that much older than me, she is still so young! I am kind of freaking out a little (or a bit more than a little). Why? I mean it isn’t about me so why would I freak out? This is her body, her story, her life! Am I being selfish to make this post about me? Well it is not like she is going to read it, I am not sharing this blog with my family or friends, this is my venting space, my selfish space, notice the word ‘my’? I know I sound terrible, but isn’t that why we start blogs to write about things that affect us? Or is that just me?

I feel bad for her, hot flushes in the middle of work meetings, sweaty upper lip, not nice! Why do our hormones have to be so mean? I know her and I are still two different people, so it doesn’t mean I will start as young as her, but it has just hit me, that maybe we are getting old(er)! What if I am not finished having kids, is this my last chance to add to my family? Would I even want to add to my family if my other half did. He doesn’t by the way! I should be content with 3, I know this, logically. Emotionally though I wish I could have another 3, even if I am not sure my back, ribs, hips or vagina could take it! I want to be one of those mums with eight kids, homeschooling, living off grid, happy, and calm, and perfectly content to let my hair become silver. Well it is a nice dream, also a slightly scary dream, because I think 8 children at home everyday may just send me more crazy than I am already. Oh and I want chickens, chickens that don’t destroy every living ant in sight and turn my grass into piles of mud! (Yes my chickens did this! Roaming, adorable chickens are more destructive than you think!) In my dreams though (and in magazines), they are so perfectly adorable.

pexels-photo-58902

This whole idea of Menopause approaching just makes me stop and think, will I truly be happy to never have another newborn, another toddler? Will Lincoln never have a brother? Is that part of my life really past me FOREVER? Does anyone else wonder if they will ever stop craving another child? Ask me in the middle of the night and I will happily say I don’t want another one. Ask me on an airplane when my children are bored and someone has a baby screaming in the row behind me and I will say no, but then sometimes when I am just listening to my heart, or watching my children sleep and I am sure the answer will be different.

I know my baby making days are most likely behind me, but accepting it, or having it forced upon me by unwanted menopause is a bitter pill to swallow!

Ren

After The Playground

Mission Mindfulness
Reflectionsfromme
Motherhood The Real Deal

 

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19 thoughts on “‘my’ menopause freak out”

  1. I feel for your sister – I am perimenopausal and not yet 40 trying to deal with 3 young children wondering why mummy gets so irritated and sweaty every now and then! The thing that I hate the most – hair! Tell your sister apple cider vinegar has helped me. Sorry I have really overshared on this comment 😉 thanks for linking up to #thesatsesh xx

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  2. I have been thinking about the menopause recently because I am having a period that seems to have lasted about three weeks. My body has gone a bit haywire and I don’t know why. I am putting it down to the peri-menopause. It is not fun.

    I don’t think you are wrong to focus on you for a bit. Your blog is your space. Your sister has her space too. Don’t feel guilty. By getting things off your chest here, you can focus on being supportive to your sister. Pen x #mg

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  3. I swear I have these thoughts all the time! The thought of the menopause freaks me out don’t feel guilty about thinking this it’s only natural regardless of who else is going through it around you. Thanks for sharing and joining in with #coolmumclub xx

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  4. Such a lot to worry about, but try not too. Take it from an old mum of five in the menopause! First, the baby thing, eventually you will come to point where you’ll be screaming ‘I want another baby now’ or you’ll feel completely resigned with the fact that there will be no more. Secondly, there is so much help to make the menopause easier now, it really doesn’t have to be as awful as it sounds. And treatment is getting better all the time. I had no idea what to expect as both my mum and my nan had full hysterectomies quite early on and never experienced the menopause. I’m now in my 50s and I’m still not sure it’s finished with me yet but so far it’s not been too bad at all. I guess I’m one of the lucky ones. #ablogginggoodtime

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  5. Not a life stage I am looking forward to! At 37 with one child I know my days are slipping away. I’d like another, but I see my life coming back and my husband is adamant no more so…sigh, bring it on. Thanks for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime

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  6. Totally unrelated to this post but I was drawn to your blog from #coolmumclub because my daughters are also called Bluebell and Marigold – what are the chances of that?!! My Bluebell is 6 and my Marigold is almost one, and we have a boy in the middle – he’s a Maximilian though, not a Lincoln! Great post by the way! #coolmumclub

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  7. It won’t be long before I start the menopause which does kind of make me said. I am so relieved I was able to have my son last year. I don’t think you are being selfish.I have seen much more publicity about it and am not looking forward to it! #MMBC

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  8. I understand your freaking out moment and I had one too! I was actually jealous of pregnant women and those with new borns despite the fact that I have three kids. However, I am pleased to announce that it didn’t last! Now that I am 50, I couldn’t think of anything worse than being pregnant. Perhaps the shifting hormones are finally doing their job! Great post, thanks for sharing with us at #TweensTeensBeyond

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  9. Because I was older when I had our daughter, I did the whole coming to terms with not having another before the menopause started to take hold. I wanted 5 children but left it far two late but one other I would have loved. I am now ‘menopausal’ so I’m over the baby thing. I’m not sure if we follow the same pattern as our siblings. I am the youngest and both my sisters are older than me and were early to mid fifties. I am just 50. Your feeling are perfectly understandable. Thanks for sharing with #tweensteensbeyond

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  10. Ren I am menopausal and there have been parts of the journey that have been harder than others, not being able to have more children was not one of them for me as I had already decided I was done on that front. I think it is tough if your body suddenly throws you a curved ball and you are thrown into a situation unexpectedly like your sister. That is truly tough. There are ways of managing the symptoms and I speak from experience when I say they make a difference and make the symptoms a whole lot easier to deal with. You have come to the right blog link-up for advice and help in this area that is for sure. #TweensTeensBeyond

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